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This is where I talk about my life. I hope no one finds this and reads it.

burgertv:

Tina asking the important questions

(via heyfunniest)

I’m not going to be the girl you marry, but I’ll be the girl you’ll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline. e.b.   (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: angelicpanic, via bl-ossomed)

my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(Source: arrogantdad, via bl-ossomed)

How fascinating it is that there are millions of people all over the world who are wide awake at 4 am missing someone. And there are millions of people sound asleep at 4 am, with no idea that they’re being missed. Please come back - Nashville  (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: nashviille, via bl-ossomed)

oreoofficial:

healthy snack in under 1 minute!

  1. buy organic apple
  2. take “organic” sticker off of apple
  3. throw out apple
  4. place sticker on box of oreo™ cookies

(via pizza)

New Laptop!

I finally got a computer, goodbye iPod touch posts!

brooklynvampire:

this is the second time i’m reblogging this in 24 hrs

(Source: ayyoo-river, via hotboyproblems)